The year that was stressful, exciting...and surreal

its been three years. three years since i got to high school. honestly im just in a bit of a surreal moment this past week. im three days from being a senior in high school. my last year, to be a kid: to enjoy life, and to really appreciate what ive had, and remember everything thats happened to me...

Junior year was sporadic. the beggining semester was very laid back, at least to me. i remember walking into Popes class thinking he was a white Bill Cosby, and entering your class, Mr. Logsdon, and thinking this may be the best english year ive ever had (and it was)
then came the second half. suddenly performances in the jazz and percussion ensembles rained down, and projet after project blew in like some crazy homework hurricane. even now, three days from graduation t the final level, im busting my butt finishing these projects and finals. its been crazy from that standpoint. its also been crazy from the personal side.

i feel like the most intellectual person i have been in my entire life. Granted, i look like an idiot or an ass to a lot of my friends, (and i KNOW if you think that, theres no point hiding it) but its mostly a show; i like having fun and doing dumb things, it makes me feel carefree and without any worries. and i am smart, i know that, i just dont like working. Thats another thing i learned: if i dont care for something, i wont give a crap, and literally their will be MAYBE 5% effort. it must explain my grades too: i have 100s in all the band classes and scraping B's in most other classes. its not to say im not interested in these subjects, im just not as commited to putting all my work into it. for Junior year that may not be the best mindset for a Junior, but its too late to change that.

This year has also tested my relationships with people. some ive gotten closer to, and others farther apart. i feel like i know more about everyone, and in turn i know who my real friends are, and who i can count on every time. my friends only remind me everyday of how lucky i am to have such a fun diverse group of people to hang out with and talk to. it feels great also knowing that i can talk to just about everyone too, i dont really belong to a set group. on the other hand, ive really screwed up with some people. i think ive lost two friendships this year, and nearly a third and fourth, whether by my stupidity or theirs. its been an emotional year, but i dont show it; i dont want what happens behind the scenes to affect my daily life.

I think this year has challenged everyone. and the crazy thing is that its not the final year. next year is. this year has made me realize that theres a long road ahead of me. i have dreams and apirations, but i dont know where they will lead me. what is my real path? where do i go from here? how can i grow up and be an adult when all ive ever known is having fun and being a kid? these questions, i feel, have been intrigued this year. next year will reveal the answer. but i cant do it alone. Junior year has given me one more realization: if im going to find my way through high school for one more year, i need the support of my friends. because truthfully, they're my second family. and i cant imagine life without them right now.

And that is what Junior Year has taught me. I will remember these memories for a good long while.