How to Procrastinate

Before we begin, I would like to make one thing perfectly clear: Procrastination is not laziness, it is an art. Like other forms of art, procrastination can take a while to master, especially if you procrastinate. However, unlike other forms of art, procrastination does not bear visible fruits. More than often, only the procrastinator them self is the only one to enjoy the rewards of excellent procrastination. Before considering procrastination, it is important to first consider whether or not procrastination is right for you. Heed my warning, it is not for the lazy. Like I said earlier, there is a distinct difference. Laziness is not doing something with the intent to do it, while procrastination is not doing something with the intent to do it, and then doing it. The first step of properly performed procrastination is knowing what you intend to not do yet. For example, knowing when a certain homework assignment is due will let you know when you need to do it: right before. Master procrastinators such as myself can judge to the second how long it will take them to complete an assignment, allowing them to procrastinate more effectively. The second step is the easiest: do what you want. Watch television, go out with your friends, read a book, but by no means do what you have already dedicated yourself to procrastinating. Repeat until it is the time you designated as the shortest possible time to do the assignment effectively in Step one. Finally, do the assignment. I know, it is work, and you do not like work, but you have grown older and wiser from the time that it was assigned, and are now more able to do it. This is the basic procrastination system. More complex systems involve sweet-talking teachers and late passes, as illustrated in the doing of this blog post, but you get the basic idea. To review, the process in its most simple, naked form is: know the assignment, wait until you must do the assignment, then do it. Procrastinate responsibly.