Ten Ideas to Halt the Recession (inspired by pop culture)

We've spent the last couple of weeks conducting socratic seminars that revolve around popular culture, and we've already learned so much about writing from those essays, so why shouldn't we delve into popular culture to solve ALL of our nation's problems?

Here are the Top Ten ways to stop the recession, according to popular culture:

1. Pay to Pee (a la Urinetown).  A great (if revolting) musical revolving around governmental control.  But, hey, with the amount of water the Kelsey Rose and I drink, we'd be out of recession (but into personal debt) within the year!

2. Confront Scrooges the world over with the ghost of the past, present and future.  They'd want to give away all of their money.  The easiest way?  A big fat check to Uncle Sam.

3. And if the Scrooges are hard of heart?  Employ Robin Hood to steal from the rich to give to the poor (aka. our government).  The man loves it, and everyone knows that I sure do love the skirt/tights look!

4. "Trade this life for fortune and fame," "Cut my hair and change my name."  It'll make me a rockstar with a credit card that's got no limit.  I'd like to make a $15,000,000,000,000 withdraw, please.

5. Get Leonardo DiCaprio to help you disguise yourself as a doctor, pilot, lawyer, etc. to embezzle the money.  Take out FBI employee Frank Abagnale, Jr. first (and tell them to Catch Me If You Can).

6. Steal Johnny Depp's what-you-most-desire compass to direct you to all the major fortunes of the world.  Eh, just bring him along, too.  For kicks.  Maybe Orlando, Kiera, and Penelope will show up for the party.

7. Upset an angry sultan's assistant, get thrown into a magical vault of burning gold, get stuck inside, and rub a magic lamp.  (If Aladin can become a sultan, I'm sure that Genie (Robin Williams) can help us out.)

8. Jai Ho..... Jai Ho!  How desperate are we to get the money?  Would you really be willing to live through that kid's life to win a game show?

9. "I read somewhere that when Bill Gates was younger he ran a lemonade stand."  Let's take some advice from Bailey in the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and rake in some dough with America's summer drink of choice.

10. Bippity-Boppity-Boo