USE ME, GOSH DARN IT

I AM THE CAPS LOCK KEY. I FEEL VERY UNDER-APPRECIATED AND UNDER-USED, TO BE HONEST. PEOPLE DON'T REALLY LIKE TO USE ME FOR MORE THAN A WORD OR TWO, AND I FIND THAT VERY OFFENSIVE. I'M A REGULAR OLD KEY JUST LIKE ALL OF THE OTHERS, BUT WHENEVER I END UP BEING PRESSED IT'S USUALLY ON ACCIDENT, I AND I JUST GET TURNED BACK OFF RIGHT AWAY. THAT'S JUST RUDE. PEOPLE DON'T LIKE TO USE ME BECAUSE IT MAKES THEM SEEM LIKE THEY'RE SCREAMING WHEN THEY TYPE WITH ME, BUT I DISAGREE. IT MAKES YOU SOUND MORE CONFIDENT, NOT MAD. PEOPLE JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND THE TRUE BEAUTY OF TYPING IN ALL CAPS. I JUST FEEL SO DISRESPECTED BY EVERYONE. EVEN THE KEYBOARD MANUFACTURERS DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH RESPECT FOR ME TO MAKE MY BUTTON'S WORDS IN ALL CAPS. YOU WOULD THINK THEY WOULD HAVE ENOUGH SENSE TO DO THAT. ANOTHER THING PEOPLE DON'T REALIZE IS THAT OUR LIVES WOULDN'T BE THE SAME WITHOUT ME. I'VE SURE AS HECK HELPED PROVE A FEW POINTS, AS I AM A CONFIDENCE BOOSTER. PEOPLE ARE INTIMIDATED BY THE CONFIDENCE I GIVE YOU. THE WORLD NEEDS MORE CAPS. THE WORLD NEEDS ME. USE ME.