Satire

Concerts are awesome. Concerts are fun. Concerts are wonderful. They are especially awesome and fun and wonderful if your seats make you see the performers as ants. But let’s look at the glass as half full - at least you are there, right? Correct. My favorite things about these concerts are the contests that all of the local radio stations have leading up to the concerts. Some of them require you to do a little work, but whats twenty hours of extra work in one week? No big deal. The best part of these contests is that just because you spend all of your free time working, you are not guaranteed a prize. A radio station - such as, oh, I don’t know, 98.1 - tells you to come early to the concert, scream really loud for two and a half hours, and they will judge your poster. Then they pick the girls who have the least amount of clothing on and give them the biggest prizes. This is probably one of the best systems I have ever heard of, and should always be used at concerts to reward the most deserving fans with the best prizes.